The basis of the environmental movement isn’t environmentalism; it’s to make sure that no one has too much fun. Because fun leads to sex, and we hate it when other people have more sex than we have. This is why religion is popular.
The struggle of the Chinese to overcome tyranny is a struggle as long as history itself. No other country or region has endured such political hardship on such a grand scale for such long period of time—except for Africa, of course, but Africa doesn’t act like it has the right to host the Olympics (more
Females are attracted to men with wealth, power, and good looks. But if you’re like me and have none of these qualities, then the only way to have a dangerous amount of females in your life, i.e. more than one, is to become a bad boy.
In the year 2007… … Saddam Hussein will be pardoned at the pearly gates after he proves that Christianity is responsible for more deaths than his regime. … Depression will be completely eradicated after everyone realizes that no matter how bad life may seem at times, at least they’re better off than Michael Richards.
Drinking is an important part of life. It allows us to express ourselves with more clarity, it makes mediocre music seem less mediocre, and it lets us feel more important than we are. But many a night are wasted because we don’t take simple measures to enhance life’s great enhancement. So here are a few