Brotip #2487:After complaining about something for an hour, you can’t end it with, “I don’t give a fuck.” Doesn’t work like that.
At first glance, this Brotip seems only like advice on how to be less annoying. And while that’s true, it’s about something much deeper, too. Follow me into the rabbit hole of douchiness, so maybe we’ll emerge a little less douche-y.
This tip indicates something essential to the foundation of almost all other virtues: honesty.
It’s no surprise, therefore, that this honesty head fake has come up several times in Brotips:
#2440: “I came dressed as me,” is not a legit reason to show up without a costume
#2575: “I’m just trolling.” = “You caught me saying something stupid so I’ll pretend it was on purpose.”
#2507 No one should have to guess whether or not you’re mad at them. Just be straight up and say it.
#2445 “It’s cool, I’m used to it,” is the passive-aggressive way to say, “I’m pissed. It’s actually not cool at all.
If, in times of conflict, what you say has to be translated by other people, you may as well turn your penis inside out back up in your body and watch Friends. If people sense that you cannot say you’re pissed, or you didn’t feel like dressing up, or you actually care about something and have an emotion about it—a perfectly normal human experience—then you force others to only imagine what else you cannot admit to yourself. Wouldn’t you feel unsafe around someone who couldn’t handle the everyday tensions of admitting when something is upsetting them? Well, this is how you make people feel if you use them to validate your lie: unsafe.
Few people will consciously think, “that guy makes me unsafe.” You just won’t get laid ever again.
Once you become comfortable being honest with yourself, you will naturally become more comfortable being honest with others. Of course, simply knowing this is only the tip of the iceberg. Living it the rest of the iceberg… and half of Antarctica. I bet half of you will go through a terrible break up or divorce because of your avoidance of honesty’s discomfort. But if a divorce is what it takes for you to learn to be honest, it would be totally worth it.