I wrote this alternate ending to It’s a Wonderful Life for The Sentinel in December 2005, but it turns out that my words are just as timeless as the movie itself. As you will see, I was reading a lot of Victor Hugo at the time.
Steve Johnson, a wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills, celebrated a touchdown last week by pulling up his jersey to expose a t-shirt inscribed with The Joker’s famous quotation from The Dark Knight. You know the quotation I’m talking about; the one that nerds love to repeat in their best Joker impersonation and upload on
We can tell a lot about a country from its holidays. For example, Yemen routinely celebrates successful Al-Qaeda attacks by sacrificing goats to Allah. So it’s no surprise that Yemen exports more terrorists than prestigious grad schools.
The perennial truth of this article, which I wrote in the fall of 2004, says more about the nature of politics than it does about my prescience. But it says the most about my serious young man phase, which as you will see, was pretty serious. Think or Die This election was deemed “the most
We say we want less sex on television, but sex is the only thing that makes television bearable just like it’s the only thing that makes relationships bearable. We say we root for the underdog in sports, but nobody really enjoys rooting for the Browns except that it gives us an excuse to drink like
I just don’t understand. The Social Network is one of the best movies of the year that doesn’t resolve every conflict with a knife-throwing contest, and you’re avoiding it just because it painted you in a supposed bad light.
For most of us, Labor Day is a reminder that we hate our jobs, just like Valentine’s Day is a reminder that we hate our girlfriends. The only difference is that jobs can sometimes be useful. We may hate going to work, but we also understand that we need work so that we don’t starve,
Imagine you’re walking down the street and you see a thin, well-groomed guy, wearing a bowtie with a short-sleeved shirt, carrying a Chihuahua he adorned in a tutu, humming along to a Lady Gaga cover by Liberace. Then suddenly you feel a ping in the back of your brain. This is your gaydar. If you
With 15 times more followers than the number of Guns N’ Roses albums sold, you’d think Muhammad would be awesome. But if Muslims think Muhammad is cool, then they need look no further for a savior than what comes out of their butthole.