The only way to determine your value as a man.
As men, it’s important for us to determine our value. This way we know who we’re better than, which is the point of everything.
Women have it easy—they mainly establish their value by how attractive they are. For men, however, it’s more difficult. Yes, our value is based somewhat on our looks, but we have many other factors to consider.
When we’re young, we as men want to believe our integrity is what determines our value. It’s a seductive theory because our integrity depends entirely upon us, so we have full control over it, and so our value. But integrity is a waste unless you can do something with it. Sticking to your principles is like having millions of dollars in drug money you cannot launder. It makes us feel good to talk about it, but it’s of no value.
And integrity to what? By what standards? Ted Kaczynski has integrity. Many guys are confused and self-serving, so telling them to stick to their guns is like telling welfare queens to go out and vote.
As we get older and come down from their integrity high, we begin to determine our value by success. So the pursuit becomes money and a mentionable job title. But if gainful employment and an office job alone made you a valuable man, then Indian dudes would be cooler.
Maybe fame determines your value as a man, but the vast majority of men have no fame, and it cannot be true that the vast majority of men have no value. Plus, fame is fleeting. We don’t want to base the value of a man on the fickleness of the masses. Fame says Joey Fatone is more valuable than a regular guy who isn’t fat and useless.
What’s the point of money, employment, or fame, after all? That’s right. Inevitably, we must eventually admit to ourselves the basis of our value is success with women. But there’s still a debate over what unit of measurement to use. As a rule, though, the less valuable the guy, the more he measures himself by inconsequential markers of success with women. For instance, dorks think they’re cool if they get a girl’s number, even though having a girl’s number only means you can prank her.
Following this logic, it only makes sense to determine a man’s value by how many girls he’s had sex with.
The attractiveness of the girls we bang matters too, of course. As mentioned above, female value is determined largely by their looks, so if you bang fewer but hotter girls, then you have more value than a man who bangs more but uglier girls. Banging three 9s is better than banging four 6s. 9 x 3 = 27. 6 x 4 = 24. It’s math, bro.
But wait a minute. A girl may have sex with you even though she doesn’t think you’re a valuable man. She may do it to make other guys jealous, to have a dick around in between her submission to more alpha men, or because she’s drunk and bored. Plus, women routinely have sex with more beta men during the time of month when they’re less fertile.
And you’re out there bragging about all the hot girls you bang—you know, to increase your value—and the whole time these girls are only using your dick as a place holder.
This is why, I submit, the only way to determine your value as a man is to look no further than the number of chicks you get pregnant. Unless you get a girl pregnant, then the sex doesn’t count. Hey bro, look at your resume. Are you a results-oriented alpha or a task-oriented beta?
But wait! Just because you knock a girl up doesn’t mean she’ll have the child. Similarly, just because you get a girl’s phone number doesn’t mean she’ll answer. You could get a lot of girls pregnant, but if you’re a loser, the girls will be more likely to get abortions. Real talk time: Chicks only say it’s a bad time in their life to have a child because you’re not Bradley Cooper. She would have that dude’s baby.
So count your children, fellas, because that and only that determines your value.
Or maybe, instead of clogging up your mind with conjectures about measuring alphaness, keep your head down and shut up a little bit.