The question of whether a man should pay on a first date speaks to a more fundamental point about dating.
Above is a discussion about whether men should pay for first dates. As with most dating advice, it’s mindless chatter. Feel free to watch it if you enjoy grinding your teeth. Otherwise, just listen to me.
The answer is easy: if you want to pay for first dates, then pay. If you don’t want to pay for first dates, then don’t pay. Simple.
The confusion around this arises because most men don’t have their own standards or expectations when it comes to dating. Your standards and expectations, when in the context of dating, is called having a game.
As a man especially, it’s your job to set up the game and how you’re going to play it, and either the girl plays along or she doesn’t. Either way, you’re going to continue playing your game.
Your game cannot be formulated from an armchair, or learned from someone else. It’s something you need to develop through trial and error, through learning what you like and what you don’t like.
I know a guy who, for a first date, goes over to the girl’s house, has her cook, and then leaves without helping with the dishes. That’s his game.
I know a guy who doesn’t go out to dinner with a girl until they have sex. That’s his game.
I know a guy who always takes girls out to dinner and pays, and I know a guy who never takes girls out to dinner. Both guys need to purposefully cut down on their banging just so they can have time to sleep.
The point isn’t to do one thing or another, it’s to have something you do.