Over the past 60 years, America has become rich to the point where men don’t need to stick to the scripted life of their grandfathers. We have choices now, and so it’s taken us longer to grow up. We don’t get married as soon or as often, we pick our own careers, and it’s rare to meet somebody born in the 80’s who hasn’t been in a band or taken an improv class.
And thanks to women’s lib, we don’t need to get married to have sex because sex for women has become empowering. Yes, thanking women’s lib has its place.
Also, and maybe I’m just speaking about myself on this one, but men have become more attractive because we tend to not follow social norms, which gives us more sexual leverage. Even guys who aren’t famous now have the power to say “no” to sex.
In short, men, more often than any other time in the history of civilization, are taking control of their lives.
This is great news unless you’re a woman. No matter how liberal women become, they still want to get married like they’re living in the 1940s. So to even the score once again, they fall back on the schoolyard trick of name calling. The argument goes: men are no longer men; they are little boys in men’s bodies.
Kay S. Hymowitz rehashes this tired point in a recent article in the Wall Street Journal. She pines for a time when men married early and worked a job they didn’t like by dint of their poverty and lack of options. Hymowitz, like most women, seems to only want man as a sperm donor and bank account for the kids she wants to have for some reason.
Of course, there are plenty of men out there willing to marry them, but girls don’t want to marry those men for the same reason we don’t want to be like them: They’re boring.
It seems women are demanding something of men that they don’t really want in the first place. So women either don’t know what they want, or they’re just trying to see if we’re stupid enough to do what they want.
If you’re a man and you want to get married, that’s fine I suppose, but don’t do it because you think you need to in order to be a man. Doing something for the sake of maturity is decidedly immature. It’s almost as bad as when you were in high school and thought you needed to get laid to be a man.
Some men may be immature in the bad way and play XBox well into their 20’s, and women love to look at these men and make broad generalizations about modern manhood. It makes it easy to explain away spinsterhood.
But this isn’t the majority of men. Most of us are trying to create our own life. We think hard about what we want, what we’re passionate about, and we go after it. We realize this may take longer, and we won’t be able to support a family as soon, but we’re okay with that.
Call me crazy, but I think this quality, the delaying of gratification, is a better measurement of manhood than being scared into doing what a woman wants for no other reason than she wants it.
And ladies, if you really want to get married, stop complaining about how men don’t want to marry you. It’s about as red of a flag as a guy who calls his mom every day.
Now let’s turn the discussion over to Dee to see what he has to say about delaying gratification in order to get what you want: