AskMen.com, the site that reduces manhood to platitudes, recently decided Jennifer Lawrence is the most desirable woman of 2012. This ranking is as subjective as a post-graduate philosophy class. And I use the word “subjective” with precision. Because a girl’s desirability depends mostly on you, the man, the subject.
Ranking girls on looks is stupid, but at least it incorporates biological principles. One girl’s face may be more symmetrical than another’s, or her boobs may be perkier, or her feet may be more bare.
But desirability? A girl can only be desirable in relation to how she is when she’s with you. All girls are undesirable when they’re gabbing about shoes. All girls are undesirable when they’re gabbing in a women’s studies class. All girls are undesirable when they’re gabbing in general. If I only knew girls in a the context of gabbing, I would just start sucking dicks, no problem. But that’s not how I, or anybody else, judges how desirable a girl is. You have to see how they are when they’re with you—once you get them to stop gabbing, of course.
Men don’t see girls this way anymore because we believe girls are their own person. So any attempt to train a girl—or give her a masculine presence around which she feels more comfortable—is seen as prehistoric. This seems harsh, so let me put the same point euphemistically: It’s the difference between looking at a girl and thinking, “I wonder what she’s like,” versus thinking “I wonder what she’s like when she’s with me.”
There’s a limit to this mindset, and yes, some girls are simply a bad situation. But I’ve found that most girls only seem like a bad situation because guys are feminist dorks who can’t tell them “no,” or who can’t lead them.
So in general, stop judging, ranking, and, yes, I’ll say it, objectifying girls. And start meeting girls. Maybe some day, you’ll start to see girls for what they are: beautiful, invigorating creatures that would be unbearable if it weren’t for your ability to put them in a box.