Though Drudge Report is so sensational it would give Shaft a panic attack, it has its benefits, too.
1. Its typos and grammar gaffes make you feel smart by comparison.
2. You can put the fact that you read Drudge Report on your resume if you want to be a tabloid headline writer.
3. If an Obama advisor’s sister’s cousin’s uncle’s neighbor gets a DUI, you’ll know about it.
4. DR has the courage to illustrate every high-level democrat walks around with their eyes in mid-blink.
5. The heart palpitations induced by DR’s apocalyptic headlines will remind you of the steel drum band from your trip to Jamaica.
6. If you’re dyslexic, you could get a job with DR creating portmanteaux of the words “liberal” and “terrible.”
7. Auspicious images of Sarah Palin make DR your one-stop website for news and spank fuel.
8. Reading DR will help you understand female psychology—the aggregation, like your girlfriend’s emotions, is the weather vane of truth.
9. As Matt Drudge becomes evermore reclusive and weird, he may begin posting directions to his treasure.
10. DR’s layout and style are a fun reminder of what websites used to look like in 1997.