The duel between men was born of honor, integrity, and the chance to have sex with the loser’s woman. Though mainly it’s just born of sex, which is what everything is born of, figuratively and literally.
It’s no surprise, therefore, that every culture throughout history has had its own version of the duel. Modern American culture has a duel too, even though men get manicures now. As such, the duel is nonviolent and subtle, which is to say it’s become a little passive aggressive. But that doesn’t mean its impact has been diminished.
You see, when it comes to eliciting sexual desire from girls, it’s not just about how you talk to them—it’s also about how you talk to other guys. Yes, we judge people by how they interact with us, but mostly by how they interact with other people. It’s human nature. If you met your hero only to find out that he was p-whipped by his wife—or that he even had a wife—he probably wouldn’t be your hero anymore.
Especially when meeting girls in a social dynamic, it’s less important to learn what to say to girls than what to say to guys. This is the modern duel.
Now, if your self-esteem is in a good place, most dueling will be beneath you. But it’s important to understand the duel so you at least know when other guys are trying to duel with you.
Tell guys what to do.
Even something little like, “hey could you get me a spoon while you’re up” is noticeable to girls. They’ll notice who is giving orders, and who is taking them, even when it doesn’t seem like a big deal. It’s easy for you to call me a douche for saying this, but it’s even easier for you to be eliminated from the gene pool because you don’t understand social situations. Of course, the takeaway here isn’t to push people around, but if you are uncomfortable telling other guys what to do when you need to, that’s a bad sign. And all things being equal, if another guy is more comfortable with giving orders, girls will go for him. Every. Time.
Give approval to guys.
If you can talk about how a guy is a good guy—specifically how he’s a great addition to your life—on the surface it seems nice, but really what you’re saying is that this guy is subservient to you.
“Yeah, I love having Frank around—he’s the funniest guy” means “Frank is my jester.”
Or “Frank is great with computers—he always fixes mine” means “Frank is my IT guy.”
The girl doesn’t have to know Frank, she just has to know the role other guys play in your life, even if it’s just a sliver of their actual role. And, as I mentioned a couple weeks ago, if you pull the “Frank is great, I’d love to find a good girl for him” angle, you look like the shepherd looking after his flock, and Frank looks like a sexless wimp. This is why it feels heartfelt to tell another guy you’re proud of him when you two are alone, and why it feels douche-y to say the same thing in mixed company.
Don’t be obsequious.
Of course, when giving approval, you don’t want to come off as obsequious. When you’re too deferential to another guy, the girl who likes you will transfer her affection to this other guy. He didn’t win the duel, you gave it to him. For example, I’ve recently been in a social situation in which another guy apologized to me about six times in two minutes. He didn’t do anything wrong, he just felt uncomfortable. It was done more as an upchuck than a sincere apology. This is a big problem if you’re trying to make a girl feel happy to know you. I think it’s this dynamic that causes girls to end up sleeping with their boyfriend’s friends. Whereas guys sleep with their girlfriend’s friends because they have boobs.
This is a great way to let guys know you’re better than them. Next time somebody asks you a question, just sit there and let them ask again. If you’re an arrogant jackass, this will come naturally.
Talk about how a guy has learned from you.
I have a great story about a guy I used to work with. I effectively helped him out of a dry spell by setting him up with a girl then talking him through it. It’s a good story to tell a girl because most guys couldn’t care less about helping out another guy. This isn’t you, because when other guys are around you, they’re the ones being lifted up. When a girl sees you in this light, she’ll express appreciation by lifting up your penis with her vagina.
Of course, there is no replacement for genuinely being a valuable guy by having your life together, being outgoing, and contributing to your environment. But let’s not kid ourselves and say competition between men isn’t real. Just don’t let it get out of hand, like competition between girls.