Why does it seem like Whole Foods has a restraining order on Cash Advanced Centers? This may say something about people who eat healthy, or at least like to think they eat healthy. Regardless, it should help Whole Foods decide where to build more of their organic juggernauts of soy yoga journals.
1. By a playground with more rubber padding than a bikini contest.
2. In a gentrified neighborhood that already has a Whole Foods. They’ll need another one.
3. Never by too many white people or too many black people, but always by too many Asians with Master’s degrees.
4. Where you will find no discrimination towards minorities, but plenty of patronization towards minorities.
5. Wherever a yoga pants detector pings like a stud finder on me.
6. Where gay jokes are as scarce as stud finder jokes.
7. Where composting is the new recycling, solar panels are the new composting, and understanding the debt ceiling is the new dinner party hegemony.
8. In any shopping center that spells center as “centre.”
9. Where professional degrees outnumber guys who refer to themselves as professional drinkers.
10. Near a church, but never near a church that’s also near a strip club.