Every Girl Wants Me

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Naivete is your copilot.

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Every girl wants me. It’s true. Every girl I interact with, from a cheerleader to a 60-year-old crossing guard, can’t help but be interested in me. It’s simply the way I am. It’s simply the way girls are.

If a waitress smiles at me and says hello, she wants me. If she screws up my order, she was only doing that so we could have something to talk about. She wants me. If she ignores me as I leave the restaurant, she’s being coy because she wants me.

If a girl doesn’t return my call, she’s trying to play hard to get because she wants me. If we’re out on a date and she isn’t receptive, she’s trying to be a challenge because she knows that guys like challenges, which means she wants me. If she says that she doesn’t want to have sex with me, then she definitely wants me. Why else would she bring up sex?

If a girl is standing within my vicinity at a grocery store, it’s not a coincidence. It’s clear she wants me to talk to her. She just happens to have a difficult time deciding what to get when she’s next to me? Highly unlikely.

If I’m talking to a girl I just met and she’s engaging me, then she wants me. If she’s not engaging me, then she wants to know if I’m confident enough to keep talking to her, which means she wants me. If she didn’t want me, she wouldn’t care how confident I am.

Girls can’t help but want me. I don’t care if she has a boyfriend, a husband, or if she’s been a “lesbian” since her sophomore year of high school. If a girl doesn’t eat, she will get hungry. If a girl meets me, she will want me.

Of course, if I think about it, I know that not every girl really does want me. And I can accept that. But most of the time all I can think about is how every girl that I interact with goes home and thinks about no one but me.

If I cannot convince myself that girls want me, then they never will. The only other option is to act like you’re confident, but even if this does work, it doesn’t work for long. Nobody is better at fanning away your smokescreen than a girl who’s contemplating the idea of sleeping with you.

This attitude isn’t just about girls, by the way. In all areas of your life, there is absolutely no downside to being optimistic. Save realism for the short-term minutiae—in the long term, optimism is your only ally.

Evolution is the most powerful process in the universe. There’s no analogy that we can use to explain its power, and our brains are its most powerful creation. Yet most of us use these powerful minds, not to search for opportunities, but to search for reasons why we’re no good or why we’re going to mess something up.

Become delusional if you have to.

Every girl wants you. Why the hell not?

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DatingMark Derian