Farting is Foreplay

gassing her makes her more pliable

gassing her makes her more pliable

Telling a guy he will never get laid again unless he reads your dating book is effective marketing. When the marketing gets too good, it’s easy to let the message falter. This why most dating advice for men winds up being sub-par.

Thankfully, I’m here to tell you that you only need to remember one, immutable law of dating:

Treat a girl like your girlfriend to make her your girlfriend.

And, of course, if you don’t read the rest of this post, you’ll never get laid again.

If you’ve ever been out with a girl, and instead of her coming back to your place, she ended up talking about her ex-boyfriend, I guarantee you did something---probably many things---that diverged from this all-encompassing rule.

You tried to be impressive, but you wouldn’t try to impress your girlfriend---she’s already your girlfriend.

You were too uptight, but guys are always the most comfortable around their girlfriends.

You didn’t try to kiss her because you were waiting for the “right time,” but there’s no hesitation when it comes to kissing your girlfriend.

You shrouded yourself in self-doubt when she didn’t laugh at your bad joke, but you’d make bad jokes on purpose in front of your girlfriend.

You’d never hesitate to talk to your girlfriend, or apologize for trying to talk to her.

You wouldn’t ask your girlfriend if you were her type, which is, by the way, probably the worst question to ask a girl in the history of the Universe.

You would fart around your girlfriend, give yourself a high-five for farting, and then slap her on the butt.

Okay, maybe that one goes a bit far, but never underestimate the power of farting around girls, or as I call it, foreplay.

As you would treat a person like a friend to make them your friend, or treat a person like your enemy to make them your enemy, you need to first treat a girl like she is your girlfriend if you want her to be your girlfriend. And if you don’t do it, some other guy will come along and treat her like crap---she'll figure is the same thing. This is obvious, too obvious, which is why most guys don’t get it.

Yes, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but if you’re not going to treat those fish like dinner, then you might as well be in the desert.

Valentine’s day can suck if you’re single, because as much as guys hate to admit it, life would be totally pointless without girls. Waking up in the morning with the knowledge that you will at least see a girl walking down the street that day is a big deal. But if you can muster the courage to realize that a girl is who you treat her as, you’ll understand that you’re never alone---the world is full of your girlfriends.

PsychologyMark Derian